Overheard Backstage at the Dolls Show - Murder on turned 1 today!
10 posts! That’s not that many. I guess I need to write more! Been thinking of a YouTube channel called “Ask Daddy Mauro” - any feedback?
I got married on July 5, 2014. It was (to date) the happiest day of my life. I am 56 years old and never ever thought in my lifetime I would actually be able to get married, especially to such a wonderful man as my Andy. I am also a minister in the Universal Life Church and have been for a year now. My first official act was a memorial for a friend - for which I was honored to be asked, but also struggled because it was for a friend. However, soon after that I performed my first marriage ceremony. I became a minister because I wanted the joy of marrying people. I didn’t care who, as long as they were consenting adults and could get married, I was up for performing the marriages. And then I did the first one (along with a pastor from the MCC church where it was performed). Michael and Asia were my first couple. And since then I have performed 14 more weddings, both small and large, from couples who have been together just under 2 years to couples who have been together nearly 30. I have performed weddings in a hotel room, several times in the park, in a church and at hotels. And what I discovered was LOVE.
I wanted to do this once same-sex marriage became legal in New Mexico because I wanted to help my LGBT community partake of this new (for US) ritual of adulthood. Never did I anticipate the sheer joy that comes from marrying two people. From the first to the most recent marriages, I have seen two lives transformed into one; I helped make this happen, and it is an absolutely astounding feeling. I can say my words, I can try to speak to the couple getting married, but now having been there myself, I know that one may not even hear the words because he or she is so wrapped up in the moment. But what I DO know is when the vows are said, when the rings are exchanged, when the sand is mixed, however each ceremony happens - something ELSE happens too. Something passes between the couple that was never there before - the only word I can use to describe it is LOVE. And it is capitalized because the couple already loves each other or they would not be getting married. But this is LOVE - a new love, a new feeling, a new sensation, all by the power given me to marry a couple. I have seen this in EVERY wedding I have officiated. There is just a point where suddenly this LOVE passes between the couple and they are closer than ever. Some cry, some smile, some have even laughed as it happened, and now I even tell them that no matter how long they have been together, this is going to happen. Some have said, “Oh no, we’ve been together too long, this is just a formality”. But those same couples get to that point in the ceremony and BANG, there it is. It is an almost tangible thing to me - I can nearly see it pass between the couple. And it’s LOVE. LOVE - capitalized. Because it is a new and rare form of love that until recently we were denied. It happened to me and my Andy right in the middle of the ceremony. LOVE. I can’t say it enough. Because even long before I got married myself, I was privileged to feel this LOVE exchange between the couple getting married. I was a part of that wonderfully special LOVE that happened, that could not have happened even a year ago. And here I am, a year since I became a minister, and I’m married and I have married 15 couples. I have saved just a bit of that LOVE from every couple I have married and I cherish it in my own heart because I was lucky enough to be part of their special day. I asked them how they felt at first. And the answer was “different”, yet they could not quite describe HOW it was different. But every couple who I married, or whose wedding I attended, has said the same thing - it’s different now. And when my own wedding happened, when we got to the door to start walking down the aisle and the entire building erupted into applause - we were both left breathless and despite our best efforts, we cried. From that moment when we stopped at the doorway and the applause burst out, we felt LOVE. At first we didn’t know what to do. But we started our journey to the stage where we were getting married. And the LOVE that came from EVERYONE in that room - my immediate family, my extended family and my chosen family - each and every person in that room was a GIANT part of the LOVE that happened in my own wedding. It was the most wondrous thing that had ever happened to me. I have never ever felt so loved in my life. And did I and do I feel “different”? YES - can I tell you exactly how? No, but there is now something in our relationship that simply wasn’t there before. Andy has said it’s partly a sense of security and I agree. But it’s much more than that too. Yet I don’t have the words to tell you just HOW it’s different. It just is. For the better.
To be at each of the 15 ceremonies I have performed - to feel that LOVE from and between the couple AND their guests, no matter how many people were there - LOVE is making us better. It is making us more as a community than we have ever been before. It is making us as individuals become one in ways that I never thought possible before. And it is showing all the world that this ‘marriage’ thing that has been fought about for so long - it’s all about LOVE. And LOVE is the greatest thing on the planet. I challenge even the most hard-core anti-marriage equality advocate to come to one of these weddings and NOT see and feel and experience the LOVE that happens. It’s a magical love, it’s so incredible and sweet and joyous that I wonder how can these people object to it? Does it in any way diminish their own marriages? NO! In fact, I believe that it makes the institution of marriage stronger, not weaker. Marriage is now truly what it was always meant to be - a joining of two lives in LOVE and respect and mutual trust and admiration. It never did matter to whom those two lives belonged, male and female, male and male or female and female - it’s all just about LOVE - and the societal benefits bestowed upon a couple who does get married.
Many of the couples I’ve married have been from out of state, where their marriages were or are not recognized by their own home states. However, because the federal government recognizes the marriages, the federal benefits are there despite what the state says. That’s why so many ARE getting married. This is the practical side of marriage, the legal side of marriage. That it was denied to the LGBT community (and still continues to be in many states) is simply unbelievable. But what’s even MORE unbelievable is the LOVE that is in a marriage. We always had love, we loved our partners, our boyfriends or girlfriends, or whatever else we called them besides ‘husband” or “wife” - two emotionally charged words. Now it fills me with joy every time I say “my husband” and KNOW it’s a word no one can ever take away again.
But NOW - now we have LOVE! That special bond between two people, that joining of lives into one, that LOVE coming from family and friends - THIS is truly what marriage is all about. And why anyone would want to deny anyone else the right to engage in this societal ritual is simply beyond me. As Patricia Michaels, the native artist and designer from Taos Pueblo said, “Relax. It’s just love. And if you can’t relax, there’s acupuncture.” As the state barriers fall, almost daily now, there are some who still resist, who still insist that marriage could never be between two people of the same sex. And I say to them - PLEASE go get yourselves some acupuncture and stop worrying about other people’s lives - you’re wasting your own life worrying so much about what other people - whose marriage has ZERO consequences for YOUR life - do, whether it’s get married, adopt kids or any other aspect of life that we all want to engage in. And relax. It’s just LOVE!
And now - it’s that time again - OVERHEARD BACKSTAGE AT THE DOLLS SHOW - The Gospel According to Joan Crawford edition. Guess the context and post your best guess on your favorite quote!
- We won’t be doing much on the bed tonight.
- Look at him, he’s like a nice pork chop!
- There’s a lot of head going on around here.
- Why am I going down?
- Damn, I lost my pants.
- We already have baby Doll. He must be fetus Doll!
- He’s the wrong gender - I think.
- Should we keep the little brown babies?
- Did she just say “cock” amongst yourselves?
- I’m sorry you were here and weren’t used.
- Bradd - director: I want as many fucks as possible in here.
- Do you wanna go back and hit that or do you wanna move on?
- Are you making out with Trog???
- Bradd: Ken, can you be doing something sexual with that ax?
- We’re doing a “V” on either side.
- You’re just affectionately stroking your ax.
- MY GOD, I can’t swallow these!
- Cup it. It’ll go right down.
- My 35 is much younger than your 32 ever was!
- I think that was a lot tighter.
- You gotta tuck it up!
- Actor 1: You’re making her seem sympathetic. Actor 2: Or SOME kind of pathetic!
- It’s right below your tit and it’s very distracting.
- I like free-ballin’ ass-tastin’ Pepsi!
And this is a rehash from the show that never happened, Murder on the Orient Express - but it was used again at THIS rehearsal: Let it flow over you like a golden shower.
And there you have them! Put your best guess in the comments as to the context of your favorite line!
Daddy, Dolls and Doings turned 1 today! Yay! My first Tumblr birthday! And it all started backstage at a Dolls show….. hmmmm…..
5 posts! Wow, I get recognized for 5 blog posts! I wonder what happens when I hit 100?
It’s that time of year again - the Dolls Christmas show! And just to show you how much joy is in our hearts as we work to bring you this show, we once again present “OVERHEARD BACKSTAGE AT THE DOLLS SHOW!” We invite you to sit back, read through and imagine the context of each one. Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
The Orgy has to happen!
Now I have to give head to an elf?
Can we have the orgy be by Gilbert and Sullivan?
Don’t worry dear, you’ll come up with another accent.
They should be fucking a feather duster!
They’ll be antler elves!
And this is why the Dolls only lipsynch.
Put on your strap-ons.
I wanna ride Bikini Girl’s moustache - she’s HOT!
He is a plethora of things we can work with.
Here is where you’re the puddle.
Are you gonna leave a slime trail?
Giving him crabs - moustache crabs.
Director: You’re pulling it out of her snatch! Actor: Oh…..
Practice that pump when you get home.
I don’t have any lines in this part, but do you want my weiner to be English?
Can you give him head with rhythym?
Give him more head.
Can you be part of the orgy?
I’m just going to come up and play with my tits.
I came inbetween them!
Santa, you just left to get panties.
Actor 1: So I’ll be sandwiched between them. Actor 2: Just how you like it.
Actor 1: I’ll come in behind. Actor 2: You always come in behind!
It all comes after that table with all the chickens?
You might try swallowing a bit of it. You’re not a porn star.
She’ll milk it!
The whole point of this is nothing you are saying is interesting.
Can you take him even more?
You don’t know if it has a penis or a vagina?
I’m just gonna roll ya to the edge and dump ya.
Play with yourself while crying.
Pull it out, Joel, pull it out!
Is he gonna rise when Santa comes?
Don’t you think she should do that down the aisle so we don’t have to clean up after her?
Actor 1: You smell like weed! Actor 2: That’s not all I smell like.
Actor 1: Do you know your license number? Actor 2: Bright Red.
I am on Facebook, but there are all these people there and I don’t know how or why!
Am I standing in vomit? Cuz I don’t wanna be standing in vomit.
Go all the way to your knees.
You need to give him a special hand.
I just want to be able to feel the little things.
Actor 1: Were you presenting your butt? Actor 2: Not for the show I wasn’t.
Actor 1: I didn’t know you were behind me. Actor 2: Because you’re NOT THAT TIGHT!
I just need you 6 actors to figure out this orgy.
Bradd: Just be practicing your accents. Actor: Pip pip cheerio BITCHES!
We’re just choreographing the orgy.
Bradd: He’s just trying to find a rack for you. Actor: That means a whole different thing in my world.
Can I have a mint? Gotta cover up the beer, weed and hot dog!
And there you have them. Guesses as to context, and comments are welcome. Happy Holidays!!!!
Dear Justices of the New Mexico Supreme Court:
Thank you for hearing the arguments regarding same-sex marriage on October 23th, 2014. I am grateful that you will help resolve this issue once and for all in New Mexico, our home.
As a proud New Mexican, a gay man in a committed relationship, and a recovering attorney, I write to you not from the legal aspects of this case but from the personal aspects. You heard all the legal arguments you needed at the hearing last week. And you must decide this case on the law as it stands. But I write you now to talk about the human side of these cases before you, and what effects your ruling will have on citizens of our State. Emotions may not play a huge part in a legal case, but I would just like you to consider the emotional, practical and day-to-day effects your ruling will have.
I was born in Albuquerque, attended New Mexico State University and George Washington University Law School. My first job out of law school was creating and administering a legal program for people with AIDS in Washington, D.C. There wasn’t much in the way of law protecting people with AIDS or their relationships back then, so we had to create it. It was an amazing opportunity for a new attorney. But it was also incredibly difficult because I knew that every one of my clients would be dead in less than a year. I saw so much heartache and so many terrible situations because marriage was not an option for a gay couple. They could not have the same legal protections, and when one of the couple died from AIDS, biological families would swoop in and just take everything, no matter what the arrangement was between the deceased and his surviving partner. Powers of attorneys and last wills helped, but could not solve everything by any means. By the time the Will was put into probate, the family had made funeral arrangements and disposed of many parts of the decedent’s estate - leaving the survivor literally on the street at times. Oftentimes the funeral arrangements were quite contrary to what the person wanted, including unwanted religious services based on the family’s beliefs, not the decedent or his partner. These clients of mine did not have the option of marriage in the 1980s, it was back then quite a far-fetched concept. But now? Now you have within your power to right these situations that still exist. While people do not die of AIDS as much as they used to, people die of various other causes. And LGBT people are generally not able to control their own death situations (i.e. funeral arrangements, real estate, joint property, etc.) or that of their surviving spouse/partner’s without having a legally recognized relationship.
Imagine being denied access to your partner who has a medical emergency because under the eyes of the law, you are a ‘stranger’ to him or her. Imagine not being able to pick up one of your kids at school because your relationship isn’t recognized. Imagine even trying to hire a photographer for a reception you were having after getting married in a state where same-sex marriage was legalized, only to have them turn you down - you don’t actually have to imagine it because you ruled on such a case earlier this year. With marriage equality, all of these issues go away. And people can simply go about living their lives without having to face this fear and rejection.
Marriage - legal marriage - offers 1138 federal benefits. Once the U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the federal DOMA law, the Obama administration stated that same-sex couples who are legally married in a jurisdiction that recognizes such marriages will be granted the same benefits as heterosexual married couples. Social Security, joint tax returns, Family and Medical Leave Act benefits, workers’ compensation, exemption from estate taxes, ERISA benefits, and so many others - I won’t bore you with the details. I will, however, point out that your decision will ultimately affect same-sex couples residing in New Mexico. Even couples from other states who choose to come here and get married, and whether their state recognizes the marriage or not, will have their marriages recognized by the federal government. You have the power to create a truly equal society in New Mexico, make us one of the states plus DC that recognize same-sex marriages, and most of all help couples like my fiance and I to receive not only federal benefits, but benefits from the State of New Mexico and just as importantly, societal recognition as well.
Society looks upon marriage as a major milestone in a person’s life. And for far too long, LGBT people were kept from this milestone. Our relationships did not come with the instant societal acceptance that a marriage provides. I am so anxious to say the words “My husband” and KNOW that they actually mean something - that our relationship, our union, is blessed by the place where we live. We want all those same-sex couples with children have BOTH of their parents recognized in the school systems. We want the big and small weddings, the honeymoons, the societal support that comes with getting engaged and getting married. The day same-sex marriage became legal in Bernalillo County, I asked my partner to marry me. I was lucky enough that he said yes, and our wedding is on July 5, 2014. And we would be thrilled, especially me with my legal background, if one of you would consent to perform our marriage ceremony. The day after I asked him, we flew to see his family in Washington State, which just last year had voted to ALLOW same-sex marriages. I was hoping we could get married at home, in New Mexico, where we live, but I was prepared to ask him while in Washington. Imagine how thrilled I was to see - very suddenly - same-sex marriages being allowed in New Mexico! Upon our arrival in Washington, my fiance’s parents had told everyone of our upcoming nuptials. Every last person we met congratulated us and were thrilled for us, especially upon learning that we could get married at home, our home together, back in New Mexico. And since we got engaged, we have received so many congratulations here in New Mexico that our hearts are warm and joyous. I cannot WAIT for our wedding to take place because I am so ready to say those words, “I Do”, and to hear them said back to me. My only sadness is my mom passed away early this year, and I would have loved for her to have been at my wedding. I still cry when I see the Christmas card she gave to my fiance which said, “Love, Sally”. My mom was raised catholic and kept her faith until the end. She struggled with my being gay. But she gradually came to accept it, and accept my relationship and even come to love the person with whom I have chosen to spend my life. Had she lived to see all these couples getting married, sharing their love, their lives and their problems, their every day living, she would have wanted that for me as well. And I know that in her heart, your ruling allowing same-sex marriage would make her love for both of us even stronger - she often told me she wished I could have gotten married. Maybe this wasn’t what she had in mind at first, but this would have given her the strength and emotional acceptance to be so very happy for both of us.
Emotionally, this is the happiest time of my life because I can finally get married to the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. And there are over 1200 couples who, since August, 2013 when the Dona Ana County Clerk began issuing licenses, have chosen to get married. Many of them were from out of state, and flew in or drove from long distances specifically to get married. Every one of these couples can now enjoy all of those marriage benefits, but equally importantly, have the safety and security and love and joy that comes from being married.
An adverse decision would obviously put these marriages into a tenuous state, with the couples not knowing whether they were still married or not. The emotional harm this would wreak is heart wrenching to say the least. Eight counties have been granting these licenses, most under court order. 1200 couples have gotten married. Should you find that NM law does not allow for same-sex couples, I just want you to please understand the devastating effects this ruling would have on the already married couples as well as engaged couples such as my fiance and I.
On the other hand, should you decide that NM law does indeed support same-sex marriage in New Mexico, on the day of your ruling, you will literally see celebrations in the streets. You will see the joy, the shared love, the excitement, and yes, even the nervousness, of an entire group of people that somehow, some way, just became an equal part of the greater society. Your actions will clear the way for even more weddings to take place, for New Mexico to become one of the leaders in this area. You will have the gratitude and devotion of a disenfranchised group of people that your ruling has helped. Many may disagree on religious or other grounds, but they will have had their day in court and they lost. That is how our system works. And as the highest court in our fair state, please know that you will have my personal gratitude, as well as my fiance’s, to no bounds, as well as the love and warmth of an entire segment of the population that calls New Mexico “home”.
My apologies for the length of this letter. But I wanted to give you a feel for what we as a couple, and the LGBT population of New Mexico, are waiting for with baited breath, are hoping for, are ready for, and are so excited for - a ruling stating that our marriages ARE legal and that LGBT people can get legally married in every corner of our fair state.
Your honors, thank you for your indulgence and we await your ruling.
Mauro A. Montoya, Jr., Esq.
Yes, folks, it’s nearly Dolls ShowTime again! The show runs from Friday, September 6 to Sunday, September 22, 2013 at the Aux Dog Theater. There is a SPECIAL performance as a benefit for the WHEELS Museum at the WHEELS Museum, 1100 2nd Street SW, on Saturday, September 14th at 8 pm.
Once again we are rehearsing like crazy to bring you Albuquerque’s best entertainment! And once again, we are having so much fun backstage that we just have to bring you these classic lines - OVERHEARD BACKSTAGE AT THE DOLLS SHOW - THE MURDER ON THE RAILRUNNER EDITION! We invite you to sit back, get a chuckle, and try to picture the context of each statement - that’s all part of the fun!
- I can’t even get off in this town!
- You forgot your ham.
- Dipping is FUNNY!
- Stacia - He’s gayer than Jesus!
- Bradd - Jesus, don’t steal my dead mom’s jewelry.
- Joshua - I’ll try to end up on my knees with my head buried in your crotch
- What are you, retarded? No offense to retarded people
- Don’t be afraid to play with him. He LOVES to be played with!
- Without Joshua, it’s VERY hard.
- Director - Give her some weight! Stacia - Why are you throwing my weight around?
- "My name is Dick Assman!" That’s my favorite part!!
- Director - Don’t Dance! Actor - that’s my pee dance.
- Director - I’d like to take it from Dick Assman. Bradd - so would the rest of us!
- Director - Stand up on Dick Assman & then just sit right down on it.
- Director - Have you ever heard of the mouse that roared? Actor - I’ve heard of the little train that could!
- Director - be all over her like … Actor - humping her leg! Director - No, no, you’re not humping her leg!
- Director - You should be like Robert Mitchum - never mind, you’re too young to even know who he is.
- Do him like this, then TAKE him!
- Liverpool. It’s like the Espanola of England.
- Grab my face and do things to it!
- Shall we go down?
- Is it a problem if I use my right hand?
- Bradd - You looked like you had a question. Joshua - I was just acting in my face.
- Pose, work it, land in a lap, show a nipple, just do it. Because you’re a guy who can do it.
- Actor 1 - We could make it a glory hole. Actor 2 - What’s a glory hole? Actor 1 - I’ll show you later.
- Director - I’ve never cut the dildo out of a Dolls show before, but just cut it. Bradd - I’ve never needed a dildo anyway!
- Joshika, you’re my hero!
- Director - I want you to stripper-sell it! Actor 1 - just like Magic Mike! Actor 2 - Should I get stripper pants?
Thanks for reading! Come enjoy the show, print out this list and GUESS where each line may have come from! Your Dolls LOVE YOU!